All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
― Samuel Beckett,
Right but for the wrong reasons
Looking at the envelope addressed from the School of Pharmacy, I knew at that moment my life would never be the same. I was right but for the wrong reasons. Thing’s in my life aren’t fundamentally different, but my perspective on things are different, in a good way.
Establishing new goals
Exploring how I use my time and what actions should get my time, I’m working on getting my life organized again. I am also looking at things I think I should have learned but haven’t, reading the classics to astrophysics.
I am trying to be more open to new and different ideas while trying to figure out new goals. Before I can have new goals, I need to have a vision of where I want to go. Creating a vision statement is another topic but it’s something I need to work on before I can create goals to achieve that vision.
For now, I see a few options; one option is to go back to school. A huge red flag on any application is failing Pharmacy School. It shows an institution took a chance on you and it didn’t work out, so what’s to prevent that from happening again?
I think taking on a masters program part-time may ease my transition back to this lifestyle. This could also help me build academic credibility. I reached out to a few schools regarding their master’s programs and they recommended applying as a part-time student to build an academic foundation for future work.
One you can show you can do the work, going full-time or working towards completing the MS or applying for a Ph.D. is a real possibility.
I’ve been thinking about getting a mentor, someone to help me refine my vision (if I can remember what that was). Having someone that can provide unbiased advice based on their personal and professional experience is a valuable resource.
My issue right now is, I don’t know what I want to do. Sometimes having too many options can show you down.
Outlet for growth
Outside of working on my goals, or actually creating new goals, I created this site. This site is designed as an outlet for helping me explore new ideas, express and share frustration and disappointment. You can see that failing professional school isn’t the end.
It’s easy to see how people not involved in professional school don’t understand the impact of failing. There’s a lot of mental and emotional investment just getting into the school (applications, interviews, school selection, moving, paying).
That investment only grows once you’re there. The program becomes an intense lifestyle, failing that feels like failing yourself, others, it really can be a crushing experience.